You are a bird, I am a bird

 

Jodhpur, Rajasthan
January 1, 2015

I remember the day. It was cold, too cold for me to walk out of my room to the mess. I laid on my bed, wrapped in my Rajasthani cushioned blanket that my father had purchased 4 years ago. My eyes were closed, but I knew I was not going to sleep so soon. It had been a hectic day. The proceedings of the day had left me with nothing but a dark future.

“Sagar,” Khushi said as I picked her late-night call.
“Haan” I replied in a low voice.
“Where are you?” she asked.
“I am sleeping” I said.
“Are you selected?” she finally asked. Perhaps she already knew the result.
I did not say anything.
“Sagar!” she shouted. “Please say something…”
“I don’t have anything to say” I murmured.
“You are useless. You are not serious about placements. How can you not be prepared after studying for 4 years?” she said and cut the call.

I slept with my little darkness, which grew bigger as my bizarre thoughts were killing my dreams.

January 4, 2015

It was 8 o’clock in the night. I sat on the stone table below a tree near the admin block. It was a long day, and I knew I would need a long nap. Dinner was not my concern. I had taken two bananas in the evening, and I knew it would be enough till the next day. Three of my friends sat beside me on the table. They were talking about something to which I did not pay attention. The darkness within me had grown even bigger with yet another job rejection. Some said that it was the last company to visit the campus. It was a tough time.

After the wait of an hour or so, the selected students came with the placement representatives. And then we all rode back to our hostels 14 km away from the college.

It was 10 PM by the time I reached my room, a 2 BHK styled room where I lived with my 4 roommates. My dear roommates had been waiting for good news. When they saw me, they did not ask me anything. I could not face them. I was in my bed in no time with the lights switched off.

“Oye… Call Khushi, she had messaged me in the evening” Sanket said as he came in my room for a second.
“Okay” I replied.

I plugged my phone to the charging point to switch it on.
“Sagar, where are you?” was the first message from Khushi.
“Sagar, I messaged Sanket when I couldn’t reach you for hours. He told me that you went for the interview. Please forgive me Sagar for shouting at you. I am a very bad girl. Sagar, from now onwards you will tell me about all your interviews. I will be with you. Your success or failure would be mine too.”
“Will you forgive me? Give me one more chance. I promise that I will never shout at you for your failures. If you are a loser, then I am a loser too” was her last message.

January 9, 2015

“Khushi… I have an interview today” I told Khushi over a phone call.
“Ha-Ha” she laughed. “Don’t worry about anything. Just go, okay!” She replied.

“I am with you. If you are a loser, I am a loser” she messaged an hour later.
“No, you are not a loser. You will fly high to achieve your dreams. You are a bird” I replied back.
“How will you marry me if I am a bird?” she asked.
“You are a bird, I am a bird” I answered.

By the end of the day, the bird took off for his journey in the endless sky. The other bird accompanied him.

-Sagar Anand, PGP 2018-20

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Reborn

 

When the winds of winter blow

And I am stuck in their midst,

When the fog descends

And what lies ahead, I cannot see;

When my hands shake with all the cold

That has crept into my soul,

And silently screaming, I begin to freeze

But you bloom in a corner of my heart;

A lone rose fighting the snow within,

You are the magic that I believe in,

For in your embrace dear Hope,

A thousand times, I am reborn.

 

-Bhavna Saxena, PGP 2018-20

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The Green Bench

 

A wave of symphony

Hit me with a fist

A resounding harmony

Filled the surrounding mist

Those chirps of the lark

Amidst the abounding dark

The rustles of the leaves

Matching the sounds of weeds

Provided music to the ears

A shift away from gears

I sat on that green bench

A lone ranger who seemed lost

Away inside in this Stonehenge

In its peaceful utmost

Thoughts, do I reflect

Decisions, do I conflict

Contrasts, do I deflect

Wounds, do I inflict

Yet there is this moment

No thoughts… no intent

A soothing sear of solace

Rose past my closed eyes and ace

A sense of identity

Yet a sense of anonymity

Away from the dynamic

Wishing life wasn’t automatic

Striving to be the guy, the hench

The forlorn guy on the green bench

The solace creeping to a stupor

Even as the clouds coloring themselves darker

Did realisation dawn that this too

will pass through as All it matters, is you

I rose at once from the henge

The stirring- soothing green bench

 

-Gautham Krishnan, PGP 2018-20

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Beautiful

 

Hey world-

You made me nervous

‘bout what the stakes were;

Thoughts were but a blur

When the spectacled eye raked me

In the tiny chamber,

Out flew my honestly

And maybe also sympathy

From you.

 

Hey world-

I wanted you at my fingertips

But you proved hard to tame

When I entered the space

Where my mind just vaped

And my stitched lips

Only knew my name

And forgot they were a human’s-

A businesswoman’s.

 

Hey world-

“I made a mistake”

Is what I entertained

The hellish hours throughout

The hell that was stretched

For those like me

Who awaited their fates

With bleak uncertainty

And tears.

 

Hey world-

We tasted defeat

Just for a day;

We trembled and muddled

Over lost words,

Over future riddles,

We anticipated

A new statistic.

 

Hey world-

We saw angels

When our friends

Touched our shoulders

And smiled and taught.

We were strengthened,

We rose,

We conquered and learnt,

It was WE and not one.

You were beautiful again.

-Gloryna Dilbung, PGP 2018-20

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Trust

 

The treasure trove,

The most precious gift,

Painstakingly bit by bit;

Cherished by all

But lost easily,

If you don’t take care carefully.

 

Trust is honest

Trust is mischievous

Trust is fearsome

Trust is all one needs.

 

But not always it is transparent

Layers are there if you think of it.

Delusion is oasis

And the end is brief.

But the journey is smoother if u trust it.

 

-Pallabi Chakraborty, PGP 2018-20

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