Student’s Corner

Student’s corner is an exclusive section of Lsquare that brings to you the literary creation, pen-craft, creative content contributed by students.

The beautiful sky

The new year, of promise,

Locked us inside, sigh.

Left with only, the lawn green,

And the beautiful sky.

But cheer there is,

The spring flowers, birds fly,

The trees tall, friends and all,

And the beautiful sky.

Glued to the screen, lectures on,

Wondering sometimes why,

Placements, prep, sports, laughter,

And the beautiful sky.

Short-lived for half of us,

Soon to say good-bye,

Memory lanes, hard work gains,

And the beautiful sky.

– Prathamesh Tayade
PGP 2020-22

Roses are red……

“Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart….”

It took me a while to understand this. Precisely, the day your hands brushed against mine in the faintest of touches, this quote suddenly made sense. I wanted to sit closer to you, I wanted my right shoulder to accidentally touch yours, I wanted you to stealthily glance at me like I was doing multiple times. I was paying no attention to the poetry read on stage, yet the words made a lot of sense. You were sitting next to me, and we hadn’t exchanged a word in the past 2 hours, just a glance or two every now and then. My inhales and exhales were matching yours and if this was the last time, I would want you to keep sitting next to me and not leave. Please, just stay……

” Aaj jaane ki zid na karo…. Yun hi pehlu mein baithe raho….”

They say, the heart wants what it wants, and there isn’t a lot what we can do about it. By God’s grace, I have everything in my life- a loving family, a fulfilling career, all worldly comforts but still on some days, I felt incomplete, ill-at-ease- like somehow, the world around you is not made for you and you are just a performer made to enact scenes. It feels like you are wearing a pair of shoes, which are in spick and span condition, and the fitting is perfect yet there is some inherent discomfort, some itchiness involved in them like the shoes belonged to someone else, like you are not meant to wear these shoes. This was one of those days, the day of the Literary Arts festival, when at 50 years of age, I was suddenly jolted into the realisation that I was different. I had gone there with the hope of rekindling my old passion and instead, I rediscovered myself….

“Waqt ki kaid main zindagi hain magar…. Chandd ghariya yahi hain…. Jo azaad hain…..”

On that day, I wanted to shout out to the world about how I felt and whom I loved. I suddenly felt freed from the shackles, like I have been able to come up to a breath of fresh air after being underwater for a long period of time. Suddenly, I felt giddy with the waves of happiness and wanted to go up to each and every person on the road and explain them my revelation. I wanted to tell my family that I loved them with every fibre of my being, but that my heart belonged to someone else. I wanted to tell them that it is not even my fault, it is just the way I am.

My wife and I had spent an eternity together, comfortably, peacefully and I loved her- the kind of love, fondness that grows into you when a person becomes a habit in your life. We have devoted our lifetime catering to each other’s and our children’s needs. Every morning, I have woken up to fresh clothes laid out on the bed and warm food on the table. Every night, we have ate together in silence and I had built up a notion that this is what life should be like-lazy, planned and methodical. But on that day, I wanted to tell her that I am finally in love- a passionate, holding hands-reliving your favourite romantic movie scene, watching the sunset together kind of love. Everything just felt right, like it belonged. I know she might feel wronged for giving up on her. I know she would not get this, she never would. I know she won’t know how it feels not to be accepted by yourself. I wanted to tell my children that it was okay to fall in love and that their father is not a disturbed personality- he is just a normal person, in a complicated love where hardly anything makes sense now.

“Kitna masoom rangin hain yeh sama…. Husn aur ishq ki aaj mehraj hain….”

Falling in love is such an alien feeling-strange but beautiful. All dull days suddenly become brighter because you look forward to hearing that voice at the end of the day. I burst out laughing at a joke that was not even funny, and keep looking at his face because it reminded me of the leaves after heavy rains. I keep listening to humdrum details of his life that does not even make sense. I want to be with him all the time and when everything around me is going wrong and I feel asphyxiated, all it needs a hug from him to cure me of all trauma. We both belong to the age of letter writing and it seems that nothing has changed, when we hide our letters and our feelings beneath hundreds of belongings. But you see, love is not the only thing that matters-the society wants to know the colour of skin, family background, surname, GENDER. And we could have told the world to mind its own business, but instead we build up walls around us and I make him a secret to be hidden away deep inside the crevices of my heart.

“Inko khokar meri jane jaan umr bhar na taraste raho….”

So, I stay silent. There were so many reasons for not speaking up for myself, hence I managed to overlook the only sole reason to not stay quiet- being happy. Being with him was a fairy tale, but that is what a fairy tale is, to be read at night and then forgotten once you wake up. I hide my thousands of insecurities in the closet and let my unrequited love be bombarded behind the garb of expensive suits and family dinners. There is a void in one of the chambers of my heart though because of his chronic absence- a gaping hole left behind when we realized maybe love can give hope, but it is not enough to last, forever. I won’t lie, for a moment, when he made me smile, for a moment there, I thought we would last. I hope against all hopes how different would be if I had gathered the courage. I wonder what would happen if after years of hiding it, my secret stumbles out of the closet, leaving me naked. Atleast, if I could have found the answer to this question- “Who decides who is the right person to love?”

“Tum hi socho zara, kyun na rokey tumhe…. Jaan jaati hain jab uthke jaatein ho tum…..” – GUAVA

– Urjaa Roy
PGP 2021-23