Students Corner
Student’s Corner in Lsquare is a platform where students can express their creativity, share their artistic talents, and showcase their literary works and creative content, fostering appreciation and recognition for their artistic endeavors.
Reflections
A late winter evening in Bangalore. The city is sparkling with weekend starlings. Buzzing with parties, many people are heading towards their evening destinations. I was dropping my wife to the party, a get-together of her batch at one of her friend’s homes. I thought to drop her off and go to a nearby friend’s home for some time, but then I was pulled into the party by her friends. Introduced myself to her friends as the best half of Aravinda, then silently grabbed a drink, spoke to a few people, then sat near the sofa, watching an old game replay. It’s always good to see my wife with her old friends around, she was very happy. The replay was almost about to finish after some time, actually a long time, I just looked around, some people were laughing, some were drunk, some were dancing, and my wife and a few were going through old photo albums. Then she took me there, to show their entire batch photo. There were some 60, or 70 people in the photo, holding my hand my wife started talking about the people in the photograph with her friends. They spoke about the moments they spent together about some people, how they were, and they remembered some of what they did, like a class topper, basketball player, guitarist, etc., etc., some they didn’t even remember except for their name. I was slowly drawn into thoughts. Okay, let me ask you this, which type of them you are? Are you the third type whom no one remembers, or the second one, or the first one? Fortunately, I am not the third type, but unfortunately, I was always the second type, always remembered for what I did, rather than who I am, for many years.
When did it all start? I was just going back, couldn’t remember when it started, or when I started being identified at least myself for what I did. But it all started long ago, as long as I could remember. Maybe at home! Yes, it all started at home itself. Nothing earned me respect other than studies at my home. Ouch! Respect would be a too strong word to use, but studies are the only thing, that genuinely made my parents
happy about me, The rest all seemed to be a waste of time for them, and that’s what I could understand. Not blaming them, not really! After all, I know what they did for me all these years. But it was like that back then. So it did make me think that studies are the only things that mattered, and whatever I did, did for standing tall in the class in studies. Everyone started recognizing me as a nerd probably, it was my first recognition, and it stood for a long time. I was very fortunate that I had very special attention from the staff and administration in the school, after all, they were friends with my parents. Attention from staff and admin, attention from students, after a point I started liking it and enjoying it. Or maybe I felt it was a thing I achieved and it was the right thing to achieve. Never cared about how many friends I had, or how I was being viewed as a person, never had that sense of thought also, it was obvious. I was in that zone. But how long it did stay with me and work for me? Maybe for a few years, till I was some 14 or 15.
Then, Then what happened? I changed the place. I changed the school and went to a better school, where a lot of people like me were there, no one had given a damn about what I am, because it was also what they were, I was no special. Felt a crisis for the first time, maybe I didn’t even realise it was one, but felt something was different. Then, I started trying very hard to keep the identity I had till then, but it didn’t work. People honestly didn’t care about it. Then I started trying out different things like sports etc, but they also didn’t work. Honestly, I was never good at them. I could understand that people were better than me at a lot of things, but I blindly tried many things out just to prove that I was better than them, but things failed. I realized that there were people who were equally bad like me at many things, but there was a difference, they belonged to some or the other group, but I was never. They were known for what they were, I was neither known for what I was nor What I do! The major crisis hit me hard. I was in an urge to feel the belongingness, longing for that feeling. But how? I have never been asked what I like, or how I feel. And also I never cared about anything other than grades. Did I even have a character then? I don’t have any answer. I just assumed what I liked, how I felt, everything. It was chaos. Do you people remember when you first smoked, when you entered the first fight? And why did you do them?
I smoked for the first time and the last time too when I was 16. I did it not because I wanted, to but just because other guys were doing it and I just wanted to be a part of them. When I entered into a fight for the first time, I didn’t even know why it was started, all I cared about was the feel of belonging to a group. I just assumed what I liked, and prepared myself how should I behave. I just followed the people around me, to feel the belongingness. But honestly was I happy? Maybe not, it was never me, my gut was saying it. But I got what I wanted back then, a sense of belongingness, and group identity.
Then the major changes happened. I had to fly away from these things for my graduation. Maybe it was a conscious decision, my gut asked me to do the right thing because the right ones are waiting for me, and I can firmly say I did the right thing. But things then became a bit difficult for me. For years, I have never experienced love and empathy in the way it meant to be, or at least in the way that would resonate with me, with what I am in such close quarters, every day. But when I met her, I was overwhelmed. I didn’t know how to reciprocate it because I never experienced it. I couldn’t be in the happy situations for long, couldn’t offer her a shoulder when she needed it. I always had a single answer, I don’t know. Maybe it was escapism? Maybe. I did escape for a long time, but not for too long. When you miss something very dear to you, you will stop. I did that. I did stop and started thinking, for a long time I was just been known for What I did, I just wanted that. Then for the first time, someone identified me with what I am, but then I didn’t know how to reciprocate the love and empathy. But I understood, I couldn’t afford to miss those people, I was feeling me for the first time. I did understand that love is not just a feeling and it’s an ability and I am learning that. I was just lost in all the thoughts and didn’t even remember when we just came back and sat in the car. I am driving and My wife was tired and slept on my shoulder. Seeing her, just reminded me, of how I was, how she did change me, how she longed for my love, how I won her the second time. Whenever life goes into chaos, someone comes and changes it forever. Thanks to all those people in my life.
– Pawan Kumar Vatti
PGP 2025
To B, or not to B was the question for me – But finally I ended up at the place to be, because of one reason – its trees!
Here are a few verses that I had penned (or typed rather!) inspired by my numerous walks along the beautiful woods of our campus:
A walk with the trees is an escape from reality,
A stroll in the woods keeps me from insanity.
The gush of the wind, the rustling leaves,
The solitary trail – are all fountains of peace.
The webs of spiders, the fragrant lily,
compete for my attention, against the blossoming cherry!
The call of the cuckoo and the entangling vine,
All set in dance – this heart of mine!
And then comes a little girl, calling it all ‘pointless’,
I think to myself – ‘How can she be so heartless?’,
For it is when I wander – between these forests divine,
I feel the lines blur, between space and time.
So, I continue, to amble along,
In these gardens that take me beyond,
For it is these trees at IIMB,
That truly make this – the place to Be!
– Kannan D
PGP 2025
इन गुज़रते लम्हो में,
कुछ पल ठहर जाओ
इन लम्हो को तुम,
अपनी हथेली में थाम्ब लो
कल की सेहर न जाने क्या लेके आए,
तुम आज के इस शाम में ढल जाओ।
– Prajakta Tanpure
PGP 2025
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